Chester A. Arthur
The 21st President of the United States, Arthur’s dynamic lower nose foliage unit was of course followed by the better known, yet not as lavish, mustaches of presidents Theodore Roosevelt and William Howard Taft. Thus, President Arthur’s legacy as both commander-in-chief as well as one of the great Mustached Americans in history unfairly enjoys far less acclaim in the global facial hair space, despite being a forerunner to bringing deeps swaths of Mustached American vigor to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Arthur led our country and our people nobly while championing an Imperial-style hybrid, or the street “General Lee” in popular fashion.
The 26th President of the United States, “Teddy,” as he was known among friends and foes alike, was known for his girthy mustache and exuded the raw, unfettered machismo sorely lacking in politics during his time. Roosevelt could often be heard lambasting the men of his day as not being masculine enough, and as a testament to his eternal legacy, his mustache was chosen to be immortalized on Mount Rushmore. He employed a robust, symmetrical mustache in the style commonly known as The Chevron.
William Howard Taft
President Taft followed Roosevelt into the White House, and holds the distinct honor of being the last President to engage in a sexually dynamic Mustached American lifestyle. Following his time as President, Taft joined the U.S. Supreme Court, effectively becoming the only American to ever serve in both positions. His notable size, both on the face and in the waist, cemented his legacy of being the largest person to hold the nation’s highest office, in many respects. President Taft sported the crowd favorite of the mustached masses, The Handlebar.
Martin Luther King Jr.
The most recognized symbol of the Civil Rights movement, Dr. King inspired and continues to inspire people from all walks of life. A champion of equal rights and peaceful protests, Dr. King was shamefully assassinated in 1968. In 1983, a federal holiday recognizing Dr. King’s legacy was created, making King one of the very few Mustached Americans to be recognized in such a way. Dr. King maintained an extremely well-coiffed and manicured mustache similar in style to the Pyramidal variety.
Old west pop-culture icon, gambler, deputy sheriff, buffalo hunter, U.S. Marshal, barkeep, person of Mustached American descent. Wyatt Earp, today known more for how the man has been portrayed in numerous films, was many things to many people. However, he had one consistent thread throughout his complex and often celebrated life – his Mustached American spirit wrapped in a signature Fu Manchu mustache. This distinguishable characteristic commanded and demanded the respect of his peers and detractors alike, even more so than his always-handy firearm.
The German-born scientist is perhaps best known for the most widely-recognized scientific equation in global popular culture, E- mc^2, which also holds the distinction for being the most spoken scientific equation by people who really have no idea what it means. Highlights of his distinguished career include receiving the 1921 Nobel Prize in physics, as well as being portrayed by Walter Matthau in the cinematic masterpiece, I.Q. Einstein was a heavyweight in the scientific community as well as in the world of nuclear mustachology, sporting a signature Walrus mustache that commanded the respect of his peers and detractors alike.
George Washington Carver
As a botanist and restless innovative mind, George Washington Carver reputedly discovered three hundred uses for peanuts and hundreds more for soybeans, pecans and sweet potatoes – all whilst sporting a most-impressive expanse of lip spinach. Carver did his part to establish the mustache as the thinking-man’s face foliage by consistently pushing the boundaries of what modern farming could accomplish. His published 1916 bulletin “How to Grow the Peanut” and “105 Ways of Preparing it For Human Consumption” is regarded as Carver’s most popular work. Yes his latitudinal, broad, naturally husky mustache was his true masterpiece.
Quite possibly the most famous American author and humorist, Twain used his creative gift of prose to become a national treasure, and his impressive mouthbrow ensured his place in American history nearly a century after his passing. The creator of “Tom Sawyer” and “Huckleberry Finn,” Twain catapulted to the forefront of American authorship and spent his final days earning a living by captivating audiences the world over at extremely popular speaking engagements. Twain’s impressive Walrus mustache no doubt held more literary talent in a single hair than any of his bald-faced colleagues of the time.
Making his first appearance in 1943, Yosemite Sam is arguably the most famous facial haired personality among the beloved Loony Toons group. A jack-of-all-trades gentleman, YS – as he’s known by the ladies – showed immense versatility while portraying no less than twelve distinctly different professional careers, ranging from the iconic cowboy, to Elizabethan Knight and even modern day Chef. Often misconstrued as being short-tempered, Sam exhibited one of the Mustached American’s most noble traits: dedication and a willingness to never give up. Sam’s signature style is classified as an extremely impressive version of the Fu Man Chu style of stache.
Mario & Luigi
Derived from the uber-popular video game “Donkey Kong” and later developed into central characters for the Nintendo series of games and products under their own names, the animated and mustached Mario & Luigi have been a part of the global popular lexicon since the early 1980s and continues strong to this day. Each donning the ever-popular Chevron style of mustache, the duo furthered the perceived cunning and rugged good looks of the Italian peoples and the series continues to grow decades after the characters’ introductions.
Nedward “Ned” Flanders has been a staple on America’s longest running sitcom “The Simpsons” since its inception in 1989. As neighbor to the Simpsons, Ned has shown grace and aplomb consistently over the years, even while being a constant recipient of the show’s bald-faced main character’s constant acts of virulent anti-mustache sentiment. Ned’s attention to a finely manicured lawn, patience, virility (father of two) and entrepreneurial spirit encompass all the best characteristics of the Mustached American. Ned’s perfectly maintained and groomed Chevron mo is one of the finest depictions of the Dad Stache on television.
Rich Uncle Pennybags
Rich Uncle Pennybags, or the Monopoly Man as he is often called, first appeared on Monopoly cards in 1936, quickly storming to the forefront in boardgame visibility and establishing the mustache as the telltale sign of a successful businessman. Though Mr. Pennybags’ history is purely speculation, his embodiment of the prosperous Mustached American has solidly placed him in the upper echelons of those who have fought to produce positive physical images of those of Mustached heritage. The Monopoly Man’s Handlebar mustache shows the beauty of simplicity in a trained and unwaxed mustache.
A fixture in the tight-shorts-wearing 1970s sports and sexual dynamism scene, the late Steve Roland “Pre” Prefontaine was an American middle and long distance runner who competed in the 1972 Olympics alongside legendary Mustached American Olympian Mark Spitz. Credited for helping drive the 1970s-era “running boom,” Prefontaine is the former holder of American records in seven different distance track events ranging from the 2,000 meters to the 10,000 meters. After starring at the University of Oregon under legendary track coach and Nike founder Bill Bowerman, Prefontaine – along with his Chevron-style mustache – died in May 1975 at the age of 24 in an automobile accident.
Born Terry Gene Bollea, this professional wrestler, actor, television personality, entrepreneur and musician became Hulk Hogan at the same time his upper lip became home to a hearty toe-headed white-blonde mustache. The name, and his ubiquitous handlebar ‘stache became American icons, synonymous with toughness, individuality, patriotism and all varieties of leg-droppery. While Hulkamania has run wild on the upper lip of this professional wrestling stalwart for decades, Hulk found his apex in the 1980s, as he threw a folding chair through the hearts and minds of American youth. Hulkster extolled the virtues of staying in school, eating your vegetables, and tearing off your shirt in a fit of raw emotive power. His immaculately-groomed Fu Man Chu remains iconic, and luminously blonde, even today.
This longtime Oakland Athletics and Milwaukee Brewers fireman and esteemed Hall of Famer brought rare panache and showmanship to the craft of relief pitching through the late 1970s and 80s. His near-nightly stroll from bullpen to the mound was marked by wild fan applause and the jaunty appearance of a distinguished and sophisticated Imperial handlebar mustache. Only the second relief pitcher elected to Cooperstown, Mr. Fingers also holds the distinction of having his uniform number retired by two teams. Elegantly waxed to dual curling tips, his elegant lower nose foliage served to unnerve opponents as much as his hard biting sinker buckled knees.
(extra…unnecessary). A rare honor, indeed, in a life filled with accolades and respect.
Known to baseball fans as “Mr. October” for his post-season heroics, this long-time professional stud brought an uncommon sense of drama and showmanship to the game. Yes, Jackson is famous for punishing baseballs and showmanship that spawned an eponymous candy bar and legions of die-hard fans. But what most do not know about Jackson is that he was the first upright mammal to wear a upper nose forestry unit on a Major League Baseball field during the regular season and inspired his Oakland A’s team to become what’s known as “The Mustache Gang.”
Lanny McDonald’s handsomely bushy whisk-broom mustache played over 1,100 games during a 16-year NHL career. During that time, Lanny (the man) scored 500 goals and over 1,000 points. His total of 66 goals in 1982–83 remains the Flames’ franchise record for a single season. He’s among the most popular players in Flames history and his personality and ruddy red mo helped make him a living legend within the sport. A selfless giver by nature, in 1988 McDonald was named the inaugural winner of the King Clancy Memorial Trophy for his leadership and humanitarian presence, in particular through his long association with the Special Olympics. He continues to give the gift of both his boundless generosity and his almost-as-boundless rusty ‘stache to all comers.
Richard Michael “Goose” Gossage pitched for nine different teams, spending his best years with the New York Yankees and San Diego Padres. The constant in each of those sterling years? A proudly displayed handlebar nose neighbor. In the late 1970s and early 1980s, he was one of the earliest manifestations of the dominating modern closer, with wild facial hair and a gruff demeanor to go along with his blistering fastball. The nickname “Goose” came about when a friend did not like his previous nickname “Goss”, and noted he looked like a goose when he extended his neck to read the signs given by the catcher when he was pitching. Thanks to his iconic mustache, one thing is certain- The Goose looked like a Hall of Fame stallion wherever he went.
America’s only four-time wrestling Olympic medalist, Bruce dominated the international Super heavyweight Freestyle Wrestling scene for over a decade in the 1980’s and 90’s. With his trademark super heavyweight ‘stache, Baumgartner traveled the world vanquishing lesser, bare-faced mortals by the dozen. His trophy case may be overflowing with international hardware and patriotic windbreakers, but it’s his dedication to the Mustached-American lifestyle through all of his victories that landed him a place in these hallowed halls.
Baumgartner also holds the noteworthy distinction of being the last Mustached-American to act as the Flag Bearer for the Olympic Opening Ceremonies when he led the US team at the 1998 games in Atlanta, GA. With his classic Chevron mustache and nimble footwork, Baumgartner embodies all that is right with the ideals of the Olympic Champion. Pyramid Mustache
Best known as Rocky Balboa’s antagonist boxing foe Apollo Creed in the critically acclaimed “Rocky” film series, Carl Weathers is a legendary actor and former professional football player who also memorably portrayed cherished, cocksure characters Jericho “Action” Jackson, Dillon in the film “Predator” with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chubbs Peterson in “Happy Gilmore” and countless others. A former linebacker for the National Football League’s Oakland Raiders during the 1970-71 seasons, Weathers’ chiseled buttocks and Chevron-style mustache have been deeply underappreciated through his run of greatness as he has carved a vital role for himself in American pop-culture since the mid-1970s.
Burton Leon “Burt” Reynolds (born February 11, 1936) is an American actor, director and producer who has starred in innumerable iconic films. Deliverance. Smokey and the Bandit. White Lightning. The Longest Yard. Boogie Nights. Hooper. Burt’s meteoric rise to stardom garnered him awards and legions of fawning female fans. With all due respect to Burt’s acting chops, however, his story is one of a mustache with a man, not vice-versa. This is a mustache that means business, takes no prisoners and will stop at nothing to get what it wants. A swaggering, well-combed juggernaut of purpose and raw vitality, Burt Reynold’s mustache knows few peers.
When adolescent mustaches grow up, they want to be Tom Selleck’s hale and hearty lip-brow. Along with his Hawaiian shirt, Detroit Tigers ball cap and gleaming aviators, Selleck’s trademark look made Magnum P.I. a television hit. Throughout his acting career, Selleck’s charismatic grim, unflinching masculinity and robust, stocky lipholstery have made him the stuff of legend. Never before has one mustache spawned so many others. Selleck’s advice for youngsters aspiring to reach Selleckian levels of mustachery? “Go through puberty. Very important.” Well said, godfather of mustaches. Well said indeed.
Billy Dee Williams
This mustached lothario charmed ladies and gents alike (but especially the ladies) with his suave, delicately glowing mouser. Gifted thespian and well-regarded star of screen and set, Williams lent his every role a deep-rooted male vitality and vibrant masculine presence. As spokesman for Colt .45 malt liquor, Billy Dee assured us, from the comfort of his velvet-encrusted boudoir that it “worked-every time.” One look at this gentleman’s mustache leaves little doubt that this is true. How many times his mustache worked, we can only wonder.
Samuel Pack “Sam” Elliott has been an American acting mainstay and symbol of rugged appeal for decades. His rangy physique, thick horseshoe moustache, deep, resonant voice, and Western drawl lend to frequent casting as cowboys and ranchers. Whatever role Elliot inhabits, he does so with rare grit and all-American frontier spirit. Instantly recognizable in both voice and muzzy, Elliot is no less than mustachioed royalty, frequently seen donning a cowboy hat, faded dungarees and an unapologetically fierce comportment.
Sporting perhaps the most trustworthy mustache in television history, Walter Cronkite became the man millions of Americans relied on for their news. Stately. Dignified. Unbiased. Accurate. True of both this news-casting legend and his signature mustache. Cronkite broke some of this century’s most important news stories to the public, and did so with the credible candor one would expect from a man whose mustache instantly said what he didn’t have to- this was a gentleman you could trust. And that’s the way it is…
Proof that no mustache is without its sense of drama, Riviera’s well-documented forays into the heart of American tabloid journalism have been as intriguing as they’ve been divisive. As a serious journalist, it was Riviera who broke the story that Elvis’ death was not due to a naturally-occurring heart attack, but from handfuls of powerful prescription narcotics. From there, Riviera became a fringe-journalism icon and restlessly curious explorer of our nation’s seedier corners. On July 21, 2013, at 1 AM, Geraldo Rivera tweeted a picture of himself clad only in a towel, and a handsome, attention-grabbing ‘stache, exclaiming that “70 is the new 50″. No quote was necessary, as his trademark husky mustache spoke volumes about timeless virility.
Often confused for professional wrestler and poet “Leaping” Lanny Poffo, “Weird” Al Yankovic first burst onto the American pop-culture scene in 1976 and is perhaps the most accomplished Mustached American musical satirist in history, as well a respected actor, author, and screen director. Beyond all else, his long-standing Pyramid-style mustache – which he has removed in recent years to the pained disappointment of longtime fans – has carved him an enviable place in the global facial hair community as Yankovic has continued to claim numerous Grammy Awards, produced gold and platinum records and post impressively on the Billboard Album charts.
Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domènech, 1st Marqués de Dalí de Pubol, or Salvador Dali, was a singular artist- a skilled draftsman and painter, best known for the striking and bizarre images in his surrealist work. Dali’s professed “love of everything that is gilded and excessive, my passion for luxury” was apparent by the striking and, yes, surreal mustache he donned for the bulk of his adult life. As Dali’s legend grew, so did his ‘stache, extending out for several inches on either side of his angular face. Alternately waxed to stiletto tips, curled into fractal patterns or just allowed to lope along the sides of his mouth, Dali’s facial art was undeniably his opus work.
Actor. Crooner. Gadabout. Star. God to men of mustache. That’s Robert Goulet. And it’s why the American Mustache Institute issues the “Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year.” From Hollywood to Vegas. From Vegas to Hollywood. Rarely has a mustache or a man spoken of so much class, sass and versatility. In 1978, he sang “You Light Up My Life” at the Miss Universe Pageant to the five finalists and four of them were impregnated by hearing the melody. He played Don Quixote, King Lear and Wheezy the penguin. He was the only man to possess the respect and admiration of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. And with every role and every accolade, he wore his silky-smooth persona and equally silky smooth ‘stache with aplomb. Goulet was a true asset to the mustachioed American community, and a treasure to all who experienced his gifts. Mustache Style
One half of the blue-eyed soul legends Hall & Oates, John Oates’ mustache made one thing clear: his name might be listed second, but this was a man who took a backseat to NOONE. As a songwriter, vocalist, guitarist, race car enthusiast and pop icon, Oates never comprised. Neither, certainly, did his attention-grabbing face accessory. Broad, thick and substantial, his bold black ‘stache grabbed center-stage every time Hall & Oates performed. Despite 30 years as a chart-topping performer and sought-after producer, Oates did not release a solo album until 2002’s Phunk Shui. Yet Oates’ facial hair assures one thing- he will never perform alone.
Hello. It was he we were looking for. Lionel Richie coupled a ribald, well-groomed lip brow with a glossy, curly coiffure to sing his way to the top of the American pop charts in the 1980’s. Formerly a vocalist with the legendary Commodores, Richie’s lengthy, decorated solo vocal career was one littered with solid gold hits. His lyrics often speak of the lonely-hearted, though a man with a mustache like his was rarely without the company of a beautiful lady. That much we know to be true. Although in song he was “Dancing on the Ceiling”, never before has a mustache seemed so well-grounded.
Frank Vincent Zappa was an American musician, bandleader, songwriter, composer, recording engineer, record producer, and film director. Almost as ubiquitous as Zappa’s restless and innovative spirit was his restless mustache. He and his lip rug rocked, skronked and jazzed their way through some of the most challenging music ever created. Accentuated by an additional ventral tuft, or soul patch, Zappa’s stache remains so singular and iconic, it graces bumper stickers without Zappa’s name or face. His music, and his stache, live on.
A voice like Freddie Mercury’s could only emerge from beneath a mustache. And what a stache it was. Crystal-clear, scaling to some of the greatest heights in vocal history; Mercury’s operatic singing elevated airwaves around the world for the better part of three decades. As a founding member of the legendary band Queen, he was known for his flamboyant stage persona and powerful vocals over a four-octave range. Key in that persona was a sophisticated pencil mustache that spoke of refinement and joie de vivre. A novel genus of frogs Mercurana, discovered in 2013 from Kerala, India, was named as a tribute because Mercury’s “vibrant music inspires the authors.” The frog does not have a mustache.